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Talking to the Hanzels

11. März 2009 - 16:40

Since the founding of American industrial metal band Hanzel Und Gretyl in 1993, their founders Kaizer von Loopy and Vas Kallas have always been criticised for glorifying the German nazi regime and using signs and symbols referring to it. But as the band leaders distanced themselves from the nazis, we decided to talk to these unorthodox guys about both their attitude towards Germany and their music which is, just like themselves, all but serious.

Interview and text by Philipp Schmieder | Photos by Maike Paul/Metropolis Records


First of all, why are you using the most well-known German fairytale's name as your band name?
Vas Kallas: Because life is a fairy tale as we find ourselves as outcasts lost in the schwarze forest of life guiding ourselves by mere breadcrumbs.
Kaizer von Loopy: We wanted a name that depicted abandonment, cannibalism, imprisonment, kidnapping, homicide, starvation and murder but still had a happy ending and was German! Plus, Cinderella was already taken so ...
Könnt ihr denn überhaut Deutsch sprechen?
Vas Kallas: Ja, ich kann eine bissen schelcten deutchen sprechen. the more
beer trinken das besser da deutch sprechen!
Kaizer von Loopy: I can speak enough German to write songs in German that make people who don't speak German think that I speak German very well! On the other hand, we have gotten emails from actual Germans asking us to please stop speaking German. I guess the simple answer to your question would be NEIN!
Why are you using it then?
Vas Kallas: German is a very strong language. Goes good with Beer and metal!
Kaizer von Loopy: Adding German to heavy metal is like sending the song into overdrive! It commands a certain type of urgency when spoken loudly! There's a reason why it's the language of choice for professional dog trainers around the world!
What do you think of first if somebody speaks of "Germany"?
Vas Kallas: Where's the biergarten and the brat[wurst] mit brot! and the tall ubermensch! JA!
Kaizer von Loopy: I immediately envision Hohenzollern Castle, Wagner's Flight of the Valkyries ringing through the Bavarian hillside, and David Hasselhoff ... Then i weep silently.
Well, one last Germany-related question: In January you were touring through Europe - Holland, France, Belgium and Spain. Why haven't you been to Germany?
Vas Kallas: We are proud to say that we are finally playing Berlin on May 14th! At K17, with some more German dates to follow! It will be an event for shizzle!
Kaizer von Loopy: YES!! Germany has not had a treat like this since
the Treaty of Versailles!!
Your music might sound a little strange to people who usually not listen to "that kind" of music. What would you tell them in order to explain your music?
Vas Kallas: Our music sounds strange? Ich nicht verstehen das question.
Kaizer von Loopy: I would tell them to imagine Kaiser Wilhelm II commanding Slayer, Kraftwerk, Handel, Wagner, and Schubert to write the new German national anthem against their will with himself and Nina Hagen singing! Then imagine if it was even cooler than that!
...that's basically Hanzel und Gretyl.
Would you say, your music is brutal?
Vas Kallas: Hailz JA! I can show you my scars bumps and bruises! And about to get more brutal!
Kaizer von Loopy: It's beyond brutal!! it scares cats! it kills roaches! it melts polar ice caps!! it's the primary cause of the recent world financial crisis! It must be stopped!
If one doesn't like your music - which music would you recommend instead?
Vas Kallas: Any generic synthpop.
Kaizer von Loopy: I wouldn't recommend music, i'd recommend penile implants!
Is there something else you always wanted to tell somebody
Kaizer von Loopy: Yes! do you know Heidi Klum?
Vas Kallas: Ach du liebe zeit!

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Kaizer von Loopy (left) and Vas Kallas (right).


Hanzel und Gretyl with a less militaristic setting.

Kommentar Hinzufügen

I don't like your music and a penile implant isn't the real solution to protect my ears and eyes. German is a strong language, that's right, so: Fikk Dich Mit Fire! Sorry, zero tolerance for this kind of music (??).

Kommentar hinzufügen

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